Message Minute (De-escalating Angry Situations)

"Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools." — Ecclesiastes 7:9

When your child is melting down, the first step is to hesitate. Anger makes our mouths work faster than our minds. As parents, we need to pump the brakes and remember a few truths:

First, kids will act like kids! Don't expect them to handle emotions perfectly when they're still learning.

Second, childish behavior is often just unpleasant. That's part of growing up.

Third, if we only show love when they please us, that's conditional love—leaving them forever insecure.

After hesitating, evaluate by asking: What's really going on? What do I really want from this encounter? What's the best way to get it?

Finally, eliminate anger on your part and let natural consequences teach. For children to truly learn, they must experience the consequences of their own choices.

Gary Chapman wisely said, "Children need love most when they deserve it least." Before you get angry too, accept their immature expressions of anger as normal, then guide them toward constructive ways to express hurts, fears, and frustrations.

Reflection Question: What is something practical I can to do to remind myself to hesitate, evaluate, and eliminate my own anger in order to help my child learn from their emotions?

Prayer: Father, slow me down when emotions run high. Help me hesitate before responding, evaluate what's truly happening, and eliminate my anger so I can guide my child wisely. May I show them Your patient love even in their most unlovable moments. Amen.