Message Minute (Put Down the Scorecard)

"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged." 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Most relationships start with generous hearts. Early on, giving feels effortless. A long drive just to share a meal, a note tucked in a lunch bag, patient listening to stories that would normally be boring. Nobody is counting anything.

Then, slowly, a scorecard shows up. Nobody hands it out, and nobody agrees to use it, but there it is. Who did the dishes last. Who got up with the baby. Who planned the last three date nights. The tally grows quietly, and it almost always says the same thing: more is being given than received.

Here is the surprising part. Researchers once asked husbands and wives, separately, what share of the household work each one did. The answers added up to well over one hundred percent. Nobody was lying. People simply see their own effort in full color while catching only glimpses of everyone else's. Our own giving feels like a movie we starred in. Someone else's giving feels like a rumor we heard.

That is why keeping score never ends well. Carried long enough, a scorecard hardens into resentment, and resentment turns into contempt: the eye roll, the sarcastic laugh, the tone that says someone is beneath us. Contempt eats away at love like acid.

Scripture offers a better way. Real love keeps no record of wrongs. A contract gives only when giving comes back. A covenant keeps giving even when nothing returns. Today is a good day to notice the scorecard and, with God's help, set it down.

Reflection: Where have I been quietly keeping score, and what would it look like for me to set that scorecard down this week?

Prayer: God, I confess I keep score more than I want to admit. I remember every good thing I do and overlook so much of what others give. Forgive me for the resentment I have stored up. Open my eyes to the love around me and help me put the scorecard down for good. Amen.