Message Minute (Out-Family the Family)

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:10

There are two ways to belong to something. You can belong to a brand, or you can belong to a family. From the outside they look almost identical, right up until belonging costs you something.

When Paul told the church in Rome to “be devoted” to one another, he chose a remarkable word. It combines philos, the warm love of close friends, with storge, the instinctive affection of blood relatives. It’s the ache a mother feels for her newborn and the loyalty between siblings. That compound word appears only once in the entire Bible. Paul didn’t use it for husbands and wives or parents and children. He used it for a room full of unrelated people whose only common ground was Jesus. God’s plan is for the church to out-family the family.

History shows what that looks like. About 200 years after Paul wrote, a plague swept through the Roman Empire. A bishop named Dionysius of Alexandria recorded that many of his pagan neighbors abandoned sick loved ones in the streets. The Christians did the opposite. He described their boundless love and loyalty, never sparing themselves and thinking only of one another. They ran toward the dying.

Sociologist Rodney Stark argues this kind of love helped the church keep growing while the empire crumbled. People couldn’t explain it. Love that needs nothing in return is the only kind that lasts, and it flows from people who have surrendered themselves to God. Brands get dropped when they disappoint. Family shows up anyway.

Reflection: When belonging to my church has cost me something, how have I responded, and what would it look like for me to love these people like family?

Prayer: Jesus, You loved me before I gave You anything. Make my love for Your people more like family loyalty and less like brand loyalty. Where I’ve kept one foot out the door, draw me in. Teach me to give without expecting anything back, because in You I already have all I need. Amen.