Message Minute (Modeling What We Teach)

"But how can you teach others when you refuse to learn?" — Romans 2:21

Have you ever noticed that children don't actually express anger all that differently from adults? Yes, adults have larger vocabularies and more resources, but watch an angry adult—it's usually not far from a child's behavior.

A writer for Reader's Digest studied the Amish community and noticed something remarkable—their children never screamed at each other in the schoolyard. When he mentioned this to the principal, the principal simply asked, "Have you ever heard an Amish adult yell at another adult?"

The truth is painfully clear: we cannot expect our children to handle anger any better than we do. When we respond to our child's anger by raising our voice, aren't we reinforcing the very behavior we want to eliminate?

Dr. Peter Stavinoha, a neuropsychologist, says: "Kids learn how to deal with anger and disappointment by watching those around them, and parents are first-in-line role models."

There comes a point for every parent when we're tempted to escalate the conflict because we're bigger, stronger, and louder. This is exactly when we need to say, "This is getting tense—we need a break." Because most kids respond to harshness with even more intensity.

Reflection Question: How do I typically express my own anger? What am I teaching my children through my example?

Prayer: Heavenly Father, forgive me for the times I've modeled poor anger management to my children. Help me control my own emotions first, so I can better guide them. Let my responses teach more powerfully than my words. Amen.